Listen to Mistress's Daughter: A Memoir by A.M. Homes at olagynulehyb.gq
The subject was rarely mentioned; there was nothing to say. But out of the blue, at the age of 31, when Homes was already a successful writer, her birth mother tracked her down. Suddenly, there was an awful lot to say. The identity of her "real" parents and her subsequent attempts to have a relationship with them are at the heart of this memoir.
But it goes beyond this into a meditation on secrets, lies, history, identity and what it means to be part of a family. Behind the narrative lies an analysis of memory and forgetfulness. The reaction of Homes's adoptive parents is fascinating: they knew tiny nuggets of information about her origins, but they had glossed over them or considered them irrelevant - never consciously, but simply because it did not seem important at the time.
Homes is shocked at the complicity of the adults around her in misremembering details about her adoption. It turns out that a neighbour had seen and spoken to her birth mother, Ellen. But when Homes quizzes her, she can barely remember anything. Did you ever use recreational drugs? Ever smoke marijuana? Ever take pills for energy?
Mistress's Daughter: A Memoir
Ever use cocaine? Ever try Viagra? Where did you meet your wife? At what age were you married? Did you engage in relations before the wedding? Was she a virgin? Were you?
Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease? When did you last have sex, Mr. With whom? Would you say that you and your wife had a good sex life?
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Did you and your wife ever discuss open marriage? Was Ms. Ballman your first relationship outside your marriage, or did someone precede her? How did your wife find out about Ms. Can you tell me the names of your children? Do you know their birth dates? Besides Ms. Homes—did you have any other children outside your marriage? Is it possible, Mr. Hecht, that there are others? How many relationships did you have outside your marriage? How long did they last? Your wife was pregnant at the same time as Ms.
How old was Ms. Ballman when you met her?
The Mistress's Daughter
How would you describe her physically—her appearance? Did you know that she was a minor? What were the circumstances of that meeting? Were you the owner of the Princess Shop? How long did Ms. Ballman work for you? When did your sexual relationship begin? What were the circumstances of that first encounter? Do you think your libido is average? Ballman a nymphomaniac? Was she a lesbian? Did your male friends also have girls on the side? How many of them knew Ms. Did you worry that Ms. Ballman was sleeping with other men—your friends? When your sexual relationship with Ms.
Ballman began, how old was she? Did Ellen Ballman tell you that someone was molesting her? Did you take advantage of Ms. Did you use birth control? Did Ms. Ballman meet your family—your mother? Your children? Your wife? How did it happen that your eldest son spent time with Ms. When did you realize you were in love with Ms. So, were you or were you not in love with Ms. Did she believe you were in love with her? On more than one occasion did you propose marriage? How did you think you would explain that to your wife? Do you believe in polygamy, Mr.
How and when did your wife find out that you and Ms. Ballman were having a relationship? Did your wife know how old Ms. Ballman was? Did your wife contemplate divorcing you?
Is divorce in opposition to her faith? Are you and your wife of the same faith? Is adultery in opposition to your faith? Are you a religious man, Mr. Do you believe in heaven, Mr. What was your nickname for Ms. Where did that come from? Was it from something you shared? Ballman have you arrested for deserting her?
And your wife was pregnant at the same time as Ms. You must have felt like an exceptionally fertile man? Later in the pregnancy did you visit Ms. Did you offer to take her shopping and buy things for the baby? Did you ask either Ms. Ballman or your wife to consider an abortion?
Can you swim, Mr. When was the last time you saw Ms. Ballman pregnant? What month was that? How did you hear about the birth of your child with Ms. Were you ever asked to sign any legal documents relating to the child? How long did your relationship with Ms. Ballman last? Ballman ever marry? Are you proud of your daughter, Mr. Are you proud of Ms. Have you read her work?
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Did you ask your daughter to meet you in hotels? Why not coffee shops? What is the nature of your thoughts about your daughter?