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Popular Features. New Releases. Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness, 2nd Edition : A self-help guide using cognitive behavioural techniques. Description Everyone feels foolish, embarrassed, judged or criticised at times, but this becomes a problem when it undermines your confidence and prevents you from doing what you want to do.

Extreme social anxiety and shyness can be crippling but they are readily treated using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy CBT. In this fully revised and updated edition, Dr Gillian Butler provides a practical, easy-to-use self-help course which will be invaluable for those suffering from all degrees of social anxiety.

Overcoming self-help guides use effective therapeutic techniques to treat long-standing and disabling conditions, both psychological and physical.


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Many guides in the Overcoming series are recommended under the Reading Well Books on Prescription scheme. Other books in this series. Overcoming Anxiety, 2nd Edition Helen Kennerley. Add to basket. Overcoming Anger and Irritability, 2nd Edition Dr. Overcoming Perfectionism 2nd Edition Roz Shafran. I would avoid social situations like the plague.


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And I barely spoke because I stuttered. My shyness followed me well into adulthood. I stayed away from social situations, fearing the embarrassment of stumbling in my speech. But even as my speech improved, I was always on guard and still felt awkward in social settings. Then, I met a man who helped me change how I approached my fears. Tom had a stutter much more severe than mine, but it did not stop him from interacting with people. I was amazed by his courage and seeming lack of self-concern as he introduced himself to me. We chatted for a bit, and he left an impression on me that I would never forget.

Reflecting on this experience taught me some valuable lessons about how to overcome shyness.

A common fear for shy people is the fear of what others may think about them. For me, my concern was the way I spoke. But it could be something else, such as a concern over your physical features or intelligence. Tom could have easily been afraid of how he appeared to me as he introduced himself. I knew that to follow his example, I would first need to acknowledge my own fears of how I appeared to others when I spoke.

You may be tempted to discount your feelings or try to ignore them. But the more you try, the more the anxiety grows. The first step to freedom is to acknowledge the fear, as silly or inconsequential as that seems. This will give you the strength and courage to begin moving past them. I would be flowing along as I spoke only to be hit with blocked speech. Some episodes were so bad that I would appear to be suffering from convulsions.

Needless to say, this made me wary of speaking in public; I was too afraid of embarrassing myself. The more I opened up myself to potentially embarrassing situations, the more courageous and resilient I felt. This can happen to you too if you are willing to experience the greatest fear holding you back from interacting with other people. Think about the worst-case scenario. Is it a life or death situation? We place many unreasonable expectations on ourselves when entering social interactions.

Somehow, we believe that social conventions call for a person to be highly intelligent, witty, and entertaining in all their conversations. I tried to be all these things to all people in the past—and I failed miserably because I was not being myself. I was trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be.

Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness by Gillian Butler

Instead of choosing to be fluent or silent, Tom chose to be himself. Do you believe you need to be intelligent, witty, and entertaining in all your social interactions? Challenge those perceptions. Most people can see right through fake encounters.

Overcoming Shyness and Social Phobia

Stand up, keep your head high, and show them what you got! Like many people, I was shy as a kid. I would avoid social situations like the plague. And I barely spoke because I stuttered. My shyness followed me well into adulthood. I stayed away from social situations, fearing the embarrassment of stumbling in my speech. But even as my speech improved, I was always on guard and still felt awkward in social settings.

Then, I met a man who helped me change how I approached my fears. Tom had a stutter much more severe than mine, but it did not stop him from interacting with people. I was amazed by his courage and seeming lack of self-concern as he introduced himself to me. We chatted for a bit, and he left an impression on me that I would never forget.

Reflecting on this experience taught me some valuable lessons about how to overcome shyness. A common fear for shy people is the fear of what others may think about them. For me, my concern was the way I spoke. But it could be something else, such as a concern over your physical features or intelligence. Tom could have easily been afraid of how he appeared to me as he introduced himself.

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I knew that to follow his example, I would first need to acknowledge my own fears of how I appeared to others when I spoke. You may be tempted to discount your feelings or try to ignore them. But the more you try, the more the anxiety grows. The first step to freedom is to acknowledge the fear, as silly or inconsequential as that seems. This will give you the strength and courage to begin moving past them. I would be flowing along as I spoke only to be hit with blocked speech.

Some episodes were so bad that I would appear to be suffering from convulsions. Needless to say, this made me wary of speaking in public; I was too afraid of embarrassing myself. The more I opened up myself to potentially embarrassing situations, the more courageous and resilient I felt. This can happen to you too if you are willing to experience the greatest fear holding you back from interacting with other people. Think about the worst-case scenario.

Shyness vs. Social Anxiety Disorder

Is it a life or death situation? We place many unreasonable expectations on ourselves when entering social interactions. Somehow, we believe that social conventions call for a person to be highly intelligent, witty, and entertaining in all their conversations. I tried to be all these things to all people in the past—and I failed miserably because I was not being myself. I was trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be. Instead of choosing to be fluent or silent, Tom chose to be himself. Do you believe you need to be intelligent, witty, and entertaining in all your social interactions?