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Ann says there are many people who are not able to share their stories with the world because they have not yet dealt with their emotions around the subject they want to write about. If they want to write a powerful story they have to think about everything they were feeling at the time and allow the reader to identify with the why behind the what.

As a book coach, Ann Sheybani likes to form deep bonds with her clients. She wants the relationship to be a positive one for both parties. She will refuse a client if they are damaged or need more therapy than writing can provide. But she says, when a writer is ready to learn and to be critiqued without getting their feelings hurt, she can help them to uncover their role in their past situation.

And, that is when the story gets interesting. One epiphany that really stood out was looking back at all the times I thought I loved myself. How do you know if you love yourself anyway? If I thought I loved myself then and I think I love myself now…how is a girl supposed to know? Given the transformative process that this book has had on me, I realize it is much easier to be honest than it is to hide things.

There will always be someone judging. The takeaway I want people to get from my book is to remind them they are not alone, they are not the only one, and they are not crazy either. You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on the blog page or on social media Iamannpeck. I continue my conversation with Carol Egan from last episode, where we discovered how a girl who dropped out of high school to raise her son, made it a priority to get her life and health in order.

In this episode, we discuss her entrepreneurship, what happened after she got her college degree and just how far she will go to make her dreams come true. It built up so much fermentation and with it came fungus and an overload of yeast. So much, in fact, that it affected her well-being, thyroid and brain. Carol says allowing shit to build up makes your body acidic. An acidic body is a body in need of balance. To achieve balance the body starts depleting the bones of calcium and the muscles of magnesium.

The universe told her it was time to focus on her business as a health coach. Worrying over her financial situation was diminishing her creativity and passion. Her behavior started to change. Then a friend recommended becoming a driver for Uber. She was hooked after her very first fare. She started driving long hours to make more money. But more importantly, she is committed to helping as many people as possible.

It is an entry level program that offers a lot of benefits. Visit CarolEgan. Carol will always provide affordable access to information because she believes in what she does. Today my conversation is with Carol Egan. Carol and I met online in a mastermind club. When she shared her story with me, I instantly thought of how courageous she was.

They had hidden any troubles they had from their children, so it came as a shock to Carol and her brothers. Her father then lost his job and crumbled to the point of moving to the YMCA and making it his home for a year. In less than a year, Carol became pregnant. All she knew was that her baby would grow up with her. After 3 months in a foster home, Carol got her son back. Shortly after moving in, he started to beat her. Waking Up Carol went to school to become a hairdresser and worked to support herself and her son.

She was seeing traditional doctors and specialists for her chronic anxiety, her urinary tract infections and her myriad of other health issues. This woke her up. Carol knew she had to find someone to help her. She started seeing a natural doctor for her gut problems and she inquired about a college program for non-traditional women who wish to become students.

Life has never asked Carol to step up in such a big way, until she became an entrepreneur. My sister friends Charlie, Leigh and Felicia are back together again for an episode on Pornography. The four of us openly admit to having watched porn and for most of us, it is something best shared with a partner.

She shares insights from her conversations and interviews about the super-nice porn stars she met, including their secrets to playing it safe.

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Plus, she has photos to prove it. The random pizza delivery guy showing up while the kids are at school or the Mr. Fix-It handyman fantasy scenarios are the best for foreplay. Some of us use porn as a way to spice things up and certain scenes may help with role playing activities. Most of us agree that when porn becomes a replacement for a human or for those who blur the lines between reality and TV, watching porn may be a sexual addiction instead of a method to reach arousal. For people with existing body image issues or feelings of insecurity, watching the beautiful people have sex may take its toll on their self-esteem.

Or, there may be instances of younger people who are not ready to consume pornography and their immature mental states are unable to process it as an adult activity. Barbara G. EP Accomplishments and Milestones. My book title needs amending. I resisted and held onto the title for a long time, because I was emotionally attached to it. But, I am currently in the process of discovering a new title. They accepted me as a contributor and when I sent in my first article named, 3 Types of Grief Everyone is Going to Face and How to Overcome Them, they added it to the Common Grief, a healthy living editorial initiative.

If you know someone dealing with grief, please share the article with them. It helps me to know I reached people who needed to be reached. Only through your support and your feedback is this possible. I am putting together a very special episode for the one-year anniversary, which is in just a few weeks. Send Me Your Questions and Your Stories You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on social media Iamannpeck or send me a private email at ann annpeck. If you would like to send in a voice recording, you can record a voice memo on your phone including your name and share your message with me.

I would love to play it on the air. Visit Annpeck. EP Betrayal, Trust and Forgiveness. We both agree that the things we appreciate most in this world are the recordings and journals our parents left for us. If you have an elderly parent I highly recommend making a video journal of them telling their stories. A 5-Year Tryst Penny met her older lover at work.

They were teachers in the same district. Their first date was something they both had in common - passion for riding a motorcycles. It was only after their second date that the man told her he was married, but that the relationship was failing and a divorce was inevitable. Penny knew she had a decision to make.

Penny started bringing him to family events, and once she went fishing with one of his 5 children. And, even though their relationship lived in limbo, she had hopes one day of them being married. Trust Issues Penny knows now that she has been forgiven for what she has done as God called her back to serve him. She felt compelled to share her story with her church singles group in which her current husband was part of. She thought it was better that he know than to have it hidden.

It was during this confession that Penny realized that even though God had forgiven her, she had never forgiven herself. Penny says that being single is better than being with the wrong person. And, there is value in being single. Send Me Your Questions You can share your comments, questions and feedback with me on social media Iamannpeck or send me a private email at ann annpeck.

EP Knowledge: Carnal and Conditional. My friends Charlie, Felicia and Leigh are joining me once again to share intimate details about their sexual preferences and experiences. Inquiring Minds Want to Know Claire lives in New York, is newly single, and starting to date again after being married for 22 years. She asks our group what we think about men calling us sluts or whores while we are having sex with them. Leigh, however, would give the mouthy bastard a black eye and promptly leave.

Shelly is 43 and lives in Nashville, Tennessee. She requests that we discuss orgasms. Group response: One member of our group was the lucky winner, boasting about her 3 different types of orgasms. She has innies, outies and squirties. And as far as masturbation goes…we all do it and we like it, very much. What About Down There? Common worries include hygiene, lack of control and vulnerability. Intercourse wins over oral any day. The hair or bare question was mostly about personal preference and what spouses liked better. There was mention of a personal shaver which comes with special holiday designs for those looking for that special gift for their significant other.

Send Me Your Questions I will soon be putting together a panel of men and I hope to ask them intimate questions similar to the questions we discussed today. I need you, the female members of my audience, to send in the questions you really want to have answered. No subject is off limits. You can share them with me on social media Iamannpeck or send me a private email at ann annpeck. As many of you know, I have been planning my book launch, birthday party, and a spectacular Straight Talk for a Curvy World Live event.

I decided that on my 50th birthday, I would celebrate the beginning of the second half of my life by sharing the first part of my life in a series of stories and lessons. In preparation for making my book the best book it could be, I sent my manuscript to a group of beta readers. This was a little bit scary.

I had read my book over and over, and because I was so close to it, I needed to get feedback from others so I would know if there was anything missing. In this episode, I share the feedback I received from the beta readers and my carefully reconsidered future plans. I believe with my whole heart that my book should benefit and serve those who trust me enough to read it. I refuse to put out anything that is less than what you deserve.

Much like this podcast, my listeners and future readers deserve the best of me. I want to thank all of you for sharing your stories with me and for your love and support. Together we are better. We are here to love each other through our challenges so that we all come out enriched when we reach the next step of our journeys. As Always If your story needs a compassionate and empathetic place for being shared, you can reach out to me Iamannpeck on social media or send me a private email to ann annpeck.

And, Annpeck. I hope to meet you there. I know you will enjoy sharing these with someone who may need to hear them. In , on a street in London, Sheree Angela Matthews was listening to a podcast. The podcast just happened to be my conversation with Shannon Crotty, founder of Polka Dot Powerhouse. Sheree started crying while listening and decided to reach out. I am so pleased she did. Her journey, which she shares with us today, is personal, touching and transformational. Sheree has been writing since she was 6 years old.

Her father would give her a notebook and a pencil and tell her to amuse herself. She used to make stories of a little mouse who was always the hero and who always saved the day. During her educational years, there was never any talk of being able to have a career in writing. Students were guided towards more traditional work, like police women or teachers. So, Sheree became a teacher but she was secretly writing the entire time.

She now has a Ph. Once she started to take herself seriously as a writer, others did too. A Need to Be Needed Sheree knows she has a deep need to be needed by others. Patterns of finding broken people with hopes of mending them started back when she would try anything to get attention from her father.

She says she felt she was forever a disappointment to him and she never felt his love. Socially Challenged Sheree has had a trying time the last couple of years. She experienced something which caused deep wounds in her soul. People she thought were her friends were saying awful things about her. They called her a liar, a cheat and a thief on Facebook. She lost herself in her own guilt, shame and self-hatred. It is a gift she shares with her readers and listeners of this podcast to let them know they are not alone.

I recommend Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers, a great resource for those of you who may be afraid to step out into your triumph. I wrote this book to honor the journey I took during the first half of my life and to celebrate entering the second half of my life, because I am no longer hiding. On September 20th and 21st, you are invited to be a part of my book launch, my 50th birthday party and a gathering of world-class speakers for a VIP dinner and all-day life changing events in the lovely Minneapolis, Minnesota USA.

To register for this inspirational, first annual live event visit Straight Talk for a Curvy World Live. If you would like to be a part of my book launch team, sign up at I am more than enough. It was my personal crusade. I started writing for my life.

Runners – up

As the date of my book launch gets closer, I find myself going through a lot of emotions. It makes me appreciate my guests who have come on this podcast and shared their very personal stories with us, even more so. But through all of the emotions, I truly believe that this is important. This release, this freedom, this place of life-changing sharing is beneficial for all of us.

Saving Face Almost 33 years ago, I was raped in a small town, by small town boys. Self-destructive behaviors began to take the place of self-love and joy turned into worthlessness. My parents and the school faculty acted in the manner which they believed was best for the community. They are judging themselves enough already.

Stéphane Dion

Just listen. Listen to this podcast and share it with someone you know needs to hear it. I wrote this book to honor the journey I took during the first half of my life and to celebrate entering the second half of my life because I am no longer hiding. On September 20th and 21st, you are invited to be a part of my book launch, my 50th birthday party, and a gathering of world-class speakers for a VIP dinner and all-day life changing event in the lovely Minneapolis, Minnesota USA.

If you would like to be a part of my book launch team sign up at I am more than enough. Find Freedom, Joy, and Love for Yourself Remember, freedom is what we receive when we release the stories, the secrets, and the shame. If you are looking to regain your self-worth and to love who you are, join me at my live event and share your story with me. Today, I graciously hand the controls and my microphone over to my dear friend Nicole Fende.

Nicole has promised to be gentle with me and since she has started her own podcast I decided to sit underneath her verbal microscope and field some questions about my new book and live event. A Book Baby It was exactly in the p. It was very emotional for her. It took her exactly 9-months to write it from start to finish but the stories she shares took a lifetime to create. Ann describes the book as, not a memoir but an inspirational, transformational self-help book.

Ann is exceptionally gifted in: Helping people to feel comfortable enough to tell their own stories She gives people permission to have their own similar feelings She gifts others with the tools to move forward. Specifically, the I AM habits. So naturally, each of her chapters is followed up by a reflection on what lessons she learned from each incident. Her goal is to have women see themselves in the pages and see themselves walking through the darkness into the light.

The concepts of loss of identity, loss of self-worth and lack of self-love are all tackled. She wants women to know they are not the only ones going through these things and they are not crazy either. Resisting Joy Ann hired a coach to outline the arc of the book and to define the goal but each word of the book is from her own hand and contains her own blood, sweat and tears. She says she picked the easiest stories to write first and saved the most difficult ones for later. But when later came Ann found herself spending hours cleaning out the garage, going through old purses and weeding the lawn well after most people go to bed.

She was actively resisting writing the stories that were hard for her to tell. She may have unconsciously been delaying the fact that once she was finished writing her book, she would have to share it with the world. Now that the book is finished and it has been shared with those she loves, Ann can pass her stories on to others so they can feel free, know they are not their past and that they are allowed to finally give themselves the compassion they deserve. Nicole, by way of her character Captain Brenna Rain, started her podcast so that small business owners can connect with other small business owners through interviews and expert advice.

Her website, ScifiBiz, sits at the intersection of business and science fiction. Get a free chapter of her multi-faceted book just by visiting her site. The Freedom to Share Remember, freedom is what we receive when we release the stories, the secrets and the shame. Freedom is on the other side of secrets. If you are looking to live a life of self-worth and to love who you are, join me at the live event.

If you enjoy the Straight Talk for a Curvy World podcast please share it with your friends or if you have a story you would like to share with our sisterhood reach out to me Iamannpeck on social media or send me a private email to ann annpeck. This is a place for women to share their secrets, share their stories, and share their shame completely free of judgment. In this safe place, you will be embraced only with love, acceptance, and validation.

She and a group of supportive friends would meet in church basements, dining rooms or wherever they could find a moment together to talk about their lives. They would share stories of their children, new babies, love, money troubles, men and even share a good cry when they needed some freedom and release. Having a sisterhood does make a difference. A sisterhood which is supported and encouraged by the men in our lives. A sisterhood where we would be heard and validated, where we would be loved and no longer silent.

A place where women would feel safe to share their stories and secrets, free of judgment. A place where each of us knows we are more than enough. My vision is realized in this podcast and in the upcoming Straight Talk for a Curvy World Live event. On September 20th and 21st, you are invited to be a part of my book launch, my 50th birthday party, and gathering of world-class speakers for a VIP dinner and all-day live event in the lovely Minneapolis, Minnesota USA. Freedom to Share Remember, freedom is what we receive when we release the stories, the secrets, and the shame.

If you enjoy the Straight Talk for a Curvy World podcast, please share it with your friends. Episode 25 with Dr. Theo Tsaousides discussing self-love and self-respect. Episode 42 with Girlfriends exploring blow jobs. If you have a story you would like to share with this sisterhood, reach out to me Iamannpeck on social media or send me a private email to ann annpeck. Recording this episode was so much fun. My guests are three of my closest friends, Felicia, Charlie, and Leigh. We sat down in my living room, the day after the summer solstice, to discuss blowjobs while enjoying a bottle or 2 of wine.

Everyone agreed to be open, frank and honest with the hopes that those of you who may not have a friend to discuss this topic with can feel like you are sitting at the far end of the couch with us. Where, When and How? Several important revelations came from this portion of our conversation. It is also apparent that when you are younger intercourse almost always follows. This group of ladies was split when it came to swallowing. Things to take into consideration are a possible gag reflex, the amount of food in your stomach and how quickly you want to get to sleep afterward.

Is it about duty or pleasure? The longer you are together it becomes dutiful. Curious asks - Q. Have I satisfied him? And, how do I know if I am doing it wrong? There is no way you can do it wrong. Anonymous asks - Q. If a woman enjoys giving a blowjob and is good at it, do men think she is slutty?

Who cares what that kind of man thinks? If he treats you poorly get rid of him. Your cock feels so hot on my cunt. Please give me more of your fat rod. I want you to put your dick right here between my tits. Share this podcast by tweeting your thoughts to me at iamannpeck, leaving me a Facebook message in the Curvyworld private Facebook group or by leaving a review on iTunes. If you are shy or have a specific subject you would love to hear discussed on this podcast email me at ann annpeck. This email is confidential so you can feel secure in knowing that your information is safe with me.

The more we share the better our community will be. Reminder - We are planning a big event for September! We will be working on self-love and loving our business from the inside out. There will be a private VIP dinner to celebrate my 50th birthday and the release of my new book. Everybody who attends will go home with a copy. Special early bird pricing is available, so sign up now! EP When the Unimaginable Happens. My guest Barbara, who will soon be turning 50, is a mother with five kids at home and is currently going through her second divorce.

She and her ex-husband have just finished the paperwork after going through the mediation process. She says that anyone who wants to create continuity for the children during this emotional undertaking should consider mediation as a way to save money, time and tears. This powerful conversation with Barbara addresses a subject which is very rarely discussed.

That is when sexual relations occur between children in the same family. Barbara exhibits great courage in sharing her story with us today and says that if just one person is helped or one misconception is clarified, then it is worth it for her to share. And when it comes it brings peace, love and compassion. Putting Yourself First Barbara realized that through much of her life she had the martyr mentality. She always put spending time with her kids and husband in front of doing things she wanted to do. She realized if she wanted to be the best mother and wife she could possibly be, she needed to take some time for herself.

She started by taking 15 minutes to read a book she wanted to read and then little by little she took more time to practice self-care. When the Darkness Came While Barbara was pregnant with her sixth child, she and her husband were given the news that the baby had the rare, genetic disorder of Trisomy Her child, who was born 9 weeks early, died after only 2 weeks of life.

This trauma affected the entire family, and much more than Barbara realized at the time. Barbara was devastated and her whole world went black. She felt like she fell down a black hole into hell. She immediately told her husband.

She says it was a miracle that her son was away at camp because she truly believes her husband may have killed him. Family Services advised that they seek out a counselor and the counselor recommended a trip to the police station. The police wanted to charge the year-old with felony abuse, which would have marked him as a sexual predator for the rest of his life. The Poison of Pornography In addition to the family trauma surrounding the death of the baby, pornography was introduced into the household by neighborhood kids.

Barbara believes pornography is the objectification of the human body, which causes a distortion of normal behavior and normal exploration. She says her son will struggle with not falling back into predatory behaviors for the rest of his life. A State of Adjudication Her son was not convicted of felony abuse because he was in the range of being rehabilitatable. Three different psychologists told the courts that even if the same events happened again it would not trigger him. He is not a predator, he was a little boy looking for comfort after a traumatic situation.

She can be found online at Midwest Healthy Living and she recently opened her own store in her community of Maple Grove, Minnesota. She believes that how people prepare their food is just as important as what they are cooking. The cookware you use can enhance the flavor and nutrition of your food or destroy and detract from it. You never know who may need to hear it. If you need someone to talk safely and privately with email me at ann annpeck. This email is confidential so you can feel secure in knowing that your truth is safe with me.

The more support we all have and can give, the better our community will be. If you just want to connect socially you can join the private Curvyworld Facebook group or on social media iamannpeck. You were born worthy. You are a superhero born into this world and being you is all you need to do. As a listener of my podcast, you are aware of how I broadcast the message. Lisa chooses to spread the message by empowering 3rd to 8th grade girls with superpowers and the 3 rules of self-defense. She teaches them that the right action is the action you take when you love yourself, you trust who you are, and you trust what you feel.

I know who I am. I truly do believe anything is possible. If you set yourself on the course you want to be on you will get there with the consistent behaviors of self-love, self-care, self-responsibility, and self-compassion. When you bring these things into your life anything is possible. So, Lisa is Perfect Now, Right? Even though she adds practices to her life in order to reach a state of mindfulness, Lisa admits she has much farther to go. A tendency towards self-sabotage is a fierce dragon which is hard to slay. The ego lives and so do collective expectations of success.

The Shadow Dance There is light and dark in all of us. The dark will come and there is no avoiding it. Accepting yourself exactly as you are allows you to release the craving for what you desire. It is the craving of making something last which creates suffering. If you release your desire before the thing you want arrives, you are given the joy of having. No one thing is easy or hard for people to release. It will bring completeness, wholeness, and happiness. Her new book I AM If you need someone to talk safely and privately with, email me at ann annpeck.

My guest, Theresa Vigarino is a transformational certified life coach, a spiritual teacher, author and professional speaker. She is truly the epitome of joy, as you can hear by our conversation today. Her coaching programs are designed to assist women who are ready to live life to the fullest.

We were like magnets drawn to each other. I meet the most amazing people at these events. Repeating the Same Disappointing Cycles Our subconscious mind is powerful. She says that if you really want to make a long lasting change or to transform a behavior you must hit it from every direction. The brain is diligent about keeping us stuck in patterns because old patterns are considered safe to this part of the brain. People do things over and over again because we have loops in our unconscious minds. Familiarity is safe. Our mind can trick us but its sole purpose is to keep us safe. Theresa describes it as our subconscious mind being an outdated computer system and sometimes needing an upgrade.

When we transform, we break through the firewall and update our core system. During the initial stages of dating, our subconscious minds are looking for reference points in our past experiences. Sometimes we manifest our past again because we know we can handle that type of situation. We did it once, we can do it again. Women should spend some time alone because women are prone to losing their identities in relationships.

There is a difference in younger generations. They are a bit savvier but there is still a noticeable change during the start of relationships. It may be a natural way of being, but we are able to adjust. Spirituality often means different things to different people. Helen Schucman. If our souls are in alignment, we are better prepared for entering relationships. How do we overcome our past beliefs which no longer serve us?

We need to understand there is a battle going on between our intuition and our mind patterns. When past triggers are pounding our conscious minds with thoughts and ideas which make us feel insecure, we have to choose new beliefs. There are exercises which deliberately create new brain patterns. You need to establish new patterns because if not you will revert back. Step out of the emotional response and observe your thoughts. Both men and women go through the same experience of our conscious mind, relying on the filing system which is our subconscious mind to tell us how to act or respond.

There are techniques which allow us to access our filing system. We can change, distort, add new and even delete these files. If you are an imaginative person you can create new files. If you do it in HD, you can implant memories in your brain and the brain cannot tell the difference. Communication is the Key to Everything There is something about loving another. Sharing love with another human being is a profound experience. We humans are vessels of love for the divine. The best gauge for your own development is in relation to someone else.

Relationships cause us to grow. Acknowledging our vulnerability, being open and practicing trust allow our relationships to grow deeper. A great relationship resource is the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Some of us, through no fault of our own, grow up in violence along with verbal and physical abuse. Unless we make a shift, those traumatic experiences will enter our adult lives and possibly the lives of our children.

She reminds us that the great sages of the world celebrate the hard times because it is through the storms that we find understanding. No one else has access to this account. If you just want to connect socially you can join the private Curvyworld Facebook group. Big Announcement - We are planning a big event for September! And, everybody who attends will go home with a copy. There is special early bird pricing right now, so sign up now. Her job as a kidney model was the easiest and best-paying job she has had to date. Katrina is currently the co-host of Bouncing Back Radio, a podcast she does with her partner Bonnie and describes as an eclectic mix of healthy living and being mindful without holding anything back.

Her favorite episode is The Power to Forgive and Reconcile. Forgiveness is a process that goes much deeper than many people think. She has agreed to talk about it with us because she believes this platform is something she would have benefited from as she was going through her journey of living with molestation. This time was marred by the fact that her uncle had been molesting her since as far back as she can remember. In order to protect her from the pain, her brain blocked the molestation from her consciousness until frightening flashbacks started surfacing at the age of 12 or When she finally confided in one of her best friends she started an emotional ball rolling, which could not be stopped.

Her friend told her mother, her mother then told her mentally ill father who already knew, but you must listen to Katrina tell her own story in the podcast. Eventually, a social worker was brought in. There was a lot of hurt. It haunted me and it followed me into relationships. Like a ghost that was always there. Even though she carried the weight, Katrina never wanted a pity party. She chose toxic people to have relationships with and felt unworthy and unprotected because of the low self-esteem brought on by the traumatic experience.

The Big Revelation Katrina realized that everyone is broken and damaged in some way and that she was needlessly isolating herself. At 30, after countless therapists tried to help her to let go, the answer she needed finally came from within her. She chose to regain her life. She says she still mourns for her lost innocence but she is able to box up that period of her life and only open it up when SHE needs to revisit it. Try the Meetup app for your phone and if you are in California get in touch with Girls with Goals.

It may not feel like it right now but you will be OK. It is an incurable mental sickness. If you know of someone who needs to hear this podcast, please share it. If you need to talk to someone safely and privately, email me at ann annpeck. The more support we all have and can give the better our community will be. Lowry Olafson is a multi-faceted human being. He is a songwriter, a performer, a husband, a lover, a father, a friend, an inspiration and a professional speaker who incorporates his music into his keynotes.

His Songs and Their Stories Lowry uses songs to connect with others. All of his 9 albums have a different theme which represents the feelings he was having during those periods of his life. He says a songwriter uses a powerful melody to reach a deeper place in people. If Not You Then Who? John and Lowry started writing this song shortly before John died of cancer. It was such a shock that he disconnected his heart and put her death out of his mind until he was 25, at a therapy session. He says his mother channeled this piano song to him and when he plays them for an audience it reconnects him to his emotions.

Borderland - This song came to Lowry in a dream while he was sleeping in a cheap motel room. He was in a particularly morose mood when she innocently asked him to skip with her. He reluctantly joined in and the act of skipping transformed his mood instantly. It is from his Back Again album. His album Solid Ground was influenced by him becoming a father. Is There Really Safety in Silence?

Lowry shares one of his truths in this episode. He shares his truth because he knows other people may be going through the same thing. Lowry first knew he was attracted to guys in high school but because of where he grew up, in Canada, he kept this information to himself and never told anybody. But a bisexual is not who Lowry is, Lowry is a warm-hearted, creative human being who just happens to be bisexual. I am not perfect. I am, in fact, a bundle of imperfections. I wish - sometimes I wish with all my heart - that I could correct these imperfections; that I knew what causes my behaviors, what sets up my downfalls, what keeps getting in my way.

I am glad you came. I have always been here to help you. I am here now. You never had to. Karen Gray shares how Prozac caused a mania which led her down the dark hallways of depression, suicidal thoughts and the disintegration of her marriage to a good man. Depression is when your brain gets really messed up. She and her husband were able to quit marriage counseling and her life had never been better. A short while later her scale tipped the opposite direction. Her husband tricked her into moving out of their house under the guise of helping her to heal. In what felt like an instant, he shattered the framework of her life.

She had thoughts of how it might benefit her daughter to know that life is hard. She also considered it might be better for her to grow up without a mother than to grow up with a crazy one. When she considers the way of God in the world, she feels at home and safe. Work Directly with Me If you would like to work directly with me visit my website, Annpeck.

On Facebook, you can join the private Curvyworld group. Let me know how you found out about Straight Talk, I love collecting the stories. Aging can be fun if we think about it as a never-ending game of hide-and-seek. The physical aspects of getting older are easier for us to deal with, than the mental and emotional changes taking place within our bodies. There is a lot of judgement going on between people who see another person being emotional as a weakness.

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She must leave the safe role of remaining a faithful daughter of the collectives around her and descend to her individual feeling values. It will be her task to experience her pain. The pain of her own unique feeling values calling to her, pressing to emerge. To discover who she is, a woman must trust the places of darkness where she can meet her own deepest nature and give it voice. Weaving threads of her life into a fabric to be named and given.

Sharing it with the women around her as she comes to a true and certain sense of herself. She accompanied other intensely creative students and a professor on an archeological dig in Israel. Everything was going well. She met distant cousins and traveled around but then she had an altercation with another female student. She was hotheaded and walked off without anyone knowing where she was going.

When she returned to the bus, the Professor attacked her with words as he reacted to the situation in an unprofessional and downright rude manner. He wanted to send her home. This situation tugged at Cas for years as his destructive, hurtful response to her seemingly innocent trek played over in her mind. Her entire approach to people changed after that day. Beyond that, there is this pesky little thing called anxiety which makes us worry about screwing up or saying the wrong things, even if it is all in our heads.

A Kahuna massage can be magic, no matter who administers the medicine. It allows you to get out of your brain much like doing the dishes does. Repetitive actions reduce anxiety levels and release oxytocin a hormone that can be shared by others around you once it is released into the atmosphere. As women, we tend to be uncomfortable when we are observed, exposed or placed in a vulnerable situation. Cas recognizes this from her work as a supporter of women who are in labor. We are so out of tune with our primal brains we forget to take a step back and consider what is really happening here.

Her content marketing website, CasMcCullough. Her Your Brilliant Un-Career site and podcast offers up insightful blog posts and the revealing 31 days to Biztopia Challenge where she focuses on small, meaningful changes you can make each day, for 31 days. Keep in contact with her important stuff on her Your Brilliant Un-career Facebook page. To love, and to be hurt often, and to love again — this is the brave and happy life. Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.

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She is an Australian who is married to an American she met while in the Philippines and who currently lives in Canada. Both of her husbands, previous and current, had children before she married them. This in combination with her being a Senior Attorney gives her a unique perspective when discussing love, marriage, divorce, the law and more love. This allowed for a free and open relationship to grow amongst them all. Love yourself and love the people around you. Life is a gift. If you spend some time alone to get the rest of your life in order, it really helps you to love someone because you love them not because you need them.

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Money should be the last reason you stay in a marriage you are not happy in. I think, you know, we've been all over the world, Phil, you have, I have. I've seen worship every way you can do it. I mean, I've been in the???? And I've had The theology isn't that but the expressions of worship are loud and raucous and happy and joyful and everything in between. I mean, I've been in the Andes and I've seen them sing familiar tunes in language that I don't know, and all over the world. I'm not even talking about style here. What goes wrong in this movement is in the name of style they abandon the substance.

In the name of style they alter the message. And once they've altered the message, then the style starts to move. You know what I'm saying? It starts to disintegrate into evermore worldly kinds of things. There was a And the first time we had a guitar, somebody reported to him we had a guitar in our church. And out came all this material from his church and he still pumps it out even now of how I mean, and then it was a drum. I mean, somebody was actually playing a drum. And I.. And I'm not saying that, you know, there is some sacrosanct form of worship, but I am saying once you abandon the message, the container, the comfort zone with the music and the worship will begin to broaden and broaden and broaden and broaden because you are so Then you're going to start preaching on the movies.

Then you're going to start preaching on the pop-TV and interacting with all that cultural stuff which is like a mandate, in some ways, for the people to get in touch with their culture. You can't In fact, he's putting himself in a vulnerable position by being way over exposed to the culture. I was asked the other day, a lady, a brilliant lady happens to be on the faculty of one of our great universities and teaches aerospace engineering, she's chair of a department.

And she said, "Do you in preparation for your sermons every week do you draw from the culture, from what's going on in the culture? She sort of sat back like I mean, everybody does that, you know. But I I said, "You know what? I teach the Bible. I teach the Word of God. And I have a direct pipeline to the source who knows more about the culture than the culture does, and that's God. PHIL: You're very out of step with what's going on because everything you've just said is currently mainstream.

You know, you can go to almost any Christian bookstore of any size and buy Sunday-School curriculum that's based on Barney Fife. JOHN: Well that's because these guys are marketers. They're marketers. There's no question that they can market. I mean, they could run a corporate market system right now. And that's what you're seeing. What you're seeing is a marketing plan being worked out. You hook them on the website, tell them they can have a big church, prepare sermons, send the sermons to them, send the curriculum to them.

You know, duplicate your church. This becomes a massive marketing thing and the desperate guy out there who gets hooked at the front end and tweaks his church and now he's in that groove and he doesn't want to reinvent the thing again and he still believes, you know, he can get his dream come true and maybe he can reach more people. And once you buy into it, you know, then you do 40 days of this and 40 days of that and 30 days of this and somebody else's is piping in all the stuff, and you know what you are?

You're like a local TV affiliate and, you know, you just turn on the power in the morning and take the feed. All right, you said something not long ago that I took note of that I think was kind of profound, the effect of this contemporizing everything and modernizing everything has been to create not only a contempt for church history but almost an absolute separation from the modern church and her past. Christians today just don't have any connection to the great hymns or writers or theologies JOHN: Well, not only do they not have a connection, but it is their badge of honor that they don't.

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I mean, I've seen them. They send the ads to my house, you know, about every month there's a new church planted in our community and so they do the same deal because they're all following the same model. They produce slick brochures, they go and they make sure they send it to everybody, you know, like the throw-away mail you get, occupant. And inevitably it goes like this, "Come to You're not going to hear any stuffy hymns. You don't have to get dressed up. Drop by on the way to your kid's soccer game, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't know if that answers specifically the question that you directed, but PHIL: No, that is the point that all of this is severing ties with the whole history of the church.

JOHN: Yeah. So the idea is to say, "Ha, we're not going to do it the way they did it, are you kidding? You don't have to listen to that stuffy stuff. You know, this is the downside of the independent church movement, everybody does what's right in his own eyes, everybody tweaks church his way, everybody goes whatever direction they want.

Is it any wonder that people are confused about theology? Who wouldn't be confused? There is no I remember being on NBC news one night and the anchor in L. I said, "Yes it's a problem. But I don't think anybody would submit. There was a reason why there were It's like Churchill said, "Democracy is the worst form of human government after every other form.

Anybody coming into town whether he's gifted or called or whatever, starting a church, leading people down some path all on his own with no accountability to anybody. This is a real problem. PHIL: It's created a generation of church goers who actually have been trained to have contempt for historic Christianity. Not only contempt for historic Christianity but more importantly for the theology that is at the heart of historic Christianity. JOHN: They can't sing hymns. They don't get it They can't Hymns relate PHIL: Yeah And there's a section in there that left a profound impact on me, really changed the way I look at worship.

And it's where you describe Uzzah when they were transporting the ark out of And the oxen started to stumble and Uzzah reached out and touched the ark and God struck him dead. PHIL: And your point was that worship is serious business. It's not JOHN: The ark of the covenant was a symbol of the presence of God, the point of worship placed in the Holy of Holies in the tabernacle with all the twelve tribes around facing it. It was the focal point, it was where God met His people. And God prescribed the way that it was to be carried and it was to be carried by the Levites on poles that were put through the rings and well-intentioned as it may be, sticking it on a cart was a violation.

And Uzzah, also well-intentioned, wanting to make sure it didn't fall when the cart was jostled, reached out to touch it and God took his life. And that is a very sobering thing and it's interesting that you think about this all these years after I wrote that, but playing fast and loose with worship is about as dangerous as things get. Superficial worship bothers me. It isn't just the style issue either, it's the superficiality of it. And I've said this through the years, too, Phil, I expect a manipulated superficial worship in a doctrinally weak church because you can't go up in praise until you've gone down in understanding.

The ability to be exalted and worshiped is directly proportionate to the ability to be deep in understanding. I was talking to a seminary student today down at the Master's Seminary and he said to me, he said, "You know, when you struggle in your own life with your worship, what should you do? If you do not take your people down deep into the truths of Scripture, they will not be able to worship at elevated levels.

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I'm not talking about singing or anything else, I'm talking about heart worship that eventually is captured in singing. So then what you have is entertainment or some manipulation by the tune and the sound of things to kind of I know that you know when you prepare I go into the Word of God, sometimes I have to stand up and walk around my office and carry on my own little worship exercise because I'm blown over by what I discover in a passage.

PHIL: That is, isn't it, the very thing that distinguishes worship from mere entertainment, that our hearts respond to the truth of God. JOHN: Yeah, or you I like to have I like to feel the flow of music and to hear the beauty of music. What a gift God has given us. That's fine. But that may not be worship and it may be but superficial worship which is why the more superficial songs dominate those kinds of worship experiences because people can't think about the subtleties of theology, they can't think deeply about things, and they have a hard time worshiping if it's not in a contemporary style that, you know, it's sort of like you've got to go to a church that gets your groove on.

You know, I asked this question once before and you and I talked about it, and I would pose it again: if God somehow sent an edict down from heaven, and I would make the suggestion, and said, "All music in all churches stops except acappella singing of the people, or even maybe all that stops, all music in the church stops.

No more music. Where would the people go? Because I'm convinced that the big hook in the seeker movement is the music. PHIL: Well speaking of that, some of the PHIL: Into their services. I have a friend who went to one of the large ones and he said that the music they played during the offertory was the Eye of the Tiger from Rocky III , the movie. Just a secular song. And I was relating that to someone and he said, "Oh that's nothing. I went to a seeker-sensitive church and the music they played during the offertory was Pink Floyd's Money.

JOHN: Well, I've said this before, there's only one seeker in the church and that's God who seeks to have true worshipers who worship Him in Spirit and in truth. There's another movement beyond the seeker movement now, it's called the Emerging, or the Emergent Church, inevitable, predictable.

It had to happen. In fact, we've talked about that fact in the past. Look, there are only three possibilities. Number one, is you teach biblical doctrine from the Bible. That's one option, that's the golden age of the church. You teach the Word of God. You teach biblical truth in its biblical context. The departure from that is the second step, you still teach biblical doctrine but you redress it, put the Bible aside, people don't want to hear the Bible, they can't relate to the Bible, and none of those stuffy Bible things.

You know, we package it, you know, in a sermon about the Chicago Cubs, or a sermon about milkshakes or whatever. And so you say, "But we're true to the Bible, we're true to Christ and it's biblical doctrine, it's biblical truth. And an inadequate presentation of the gospel, it's not that it's full of all kinds of heresy but you can get a shallow representation of biblical doctrine. And, of course, as you know, in there he uses about 15 different Bible translations to find the one that says exactly what he wants the thing to say.

So you do get But it never stopped because now the culture is the issue, now you have decided that the crowd is there because you figured out how to push their buttons. So step three is this, first one again, teach the Bible in its biblical context. Second one, you teach Bible doctrine in the cultural context. Third one, the Bible's out, it's the cultural message in the cultural language. And that is the emerging church.

The emerging church says, "Forget the Bible, we're not even sure what the Bible means. We don't even want to make the Bible an issue. PHIL: Is this an outgrowth of all these earlier purpose-driven, seeker-sensitive kinds of styles? JOHN: Absolutely, absolute. Look, it's the old question, don't tell me where a person is, tell me what direction they're going so I know where they're going to end up. This is where you end up. If the culture's going to define your church, eventually you're going to soften the doctrine, right?

You have to. I mean, you heard Joel Osteen who now has the biggest congregation in America and he says, "I'm not going to preach on sin. Because then he won't have the biggest congregation in America. So where's that going to go? You know, he wants to make people feel good and be happy and he fills a former, was a former sports arena, the Houston Rockets, or something like that? So eventually So they're going to say, "We believe in the Bible and what the Bible teaches," but what he says is not biblical and it's only nominally theological.

And the next step is to say, "Forget the Bible, we're not even sure what the Bible means. And, of course, the next step after that is you just abandon the faith. The church is out. Why bother? PHIL: Do you see all of this heading toward a split in the evangelical movement? I mean, it seems that there are enough evangelical JOHN: No! I don't think it's going to be a split and I'll tell you why. Because everybody is somewhere along the spectrum. It's not as clear-cut as two camps. But I do think there will be a recovery movement. I think there's going to be Evangelicalism is already split.

It is fractured into It's fractured. I mean, I wouldn't say it's a split, I would say it's an explosion. The evangelical unit has exploded into bits and pieces all over everywhere. But I do think there's always going to be a remnant and a recovery of biblical ministry. Look, what This year we might have five thousand, why are they coming? They're coming because they're saying, "We want to Churches all across America are coming after the graduates of the Seminary because they want guys that will teach the Word of God and will be faithful to the truth and so I think the fragmenting of evangelicalism has already happened.

It's just splintered into thousands of pieces. But in the midst of all of this, I don't think it's up to us to try to recover all of that, I just think we hold to the truth. Time and truth go hand in hand. All this stuff has it's little day and then disappears and the truth just marches onward, as it always has.

JOHN: It would be hard to imagine that there wouldn't be some dramatic changes because they are So I think there's a sense in which these machines I think it's the small ones that are going to be in some kind of crisis. See the challenge is this, where are they going to get the next generation of leaders? Well, sad to say there are still a lot of seminaries around that are still enamored with this movement, and so they're doing whatever I don't know, what could a seminary do to prepare a guy to do that? But there are still a generation of guys coming out who want to do that kind of thing, so there's going to be some people to fill in those kind of spots.

The church has lost its continuity. This is part of its disconnect from the past. I mean, literally, you go to a church, I've preached in churches all across this country through the years, I can go to a church I preached in 20 years ago and not recognize it So I don't really know what the future holds. In one sense, I'm more concerned about the true church and the faithful church and trying to build up a generation of churches and of men who are going to be faithful, to be biblical, whatever the style.

But that preaching and doctrine will dominate and that the Bible Bible doctrine will be taught in biblical context through the exposition of the Word. PHIL: That sort of has been your answer to this all along. I don't know how many years it's been but at least a decade since you published Ashamed of the Gospel which was a thorough critique of this whole movement, right? JOHN: Right. And the people who agreed with me then still agree with me and the people who didn't agree with me then didn't like the book at all.

I mean, I am probably now more criticized and resented by that movement PHIL: But all you're saying boils down to preach the Word in season, out of season, how can you argue with that? JOHN: Well they are. I mean, if you asked them, are you preaching the Word? Well of course we are. But you have to go back to this definition of preaching biblical doctrine and biblical context, giving the whole counsel of God, taking the people down deep into the truths of Scripture.

You know, we are vast Do you know the illiteracy rates in America are higher than they've ever been? JOHN: Yes. We're becoming an illiterate nation. The dumbing down of America is real. And it's happening in the church. Our culture is I mean, look at television, talk about inane, does anybody ever say anything profound about anything? It's all silly, stupid, idiotic from reality TV to sitcoms to And, of course, if you're going to have a cultural ministry, then get ready, you're going to dumb down your whole congregation. JOHN: Sure You know that there are TV preachers that conduct their sermon like a half-hour TV program.

They interrupt it with commercials purposely because they don't think people can capture the content. Look, I've listened to those things, I mean, I'm bored to tears in 30 seconds because it's so over-simplified. But the idea is you say a few things for five, and then you bop over here and somebody gives a commercial about something and then you jump over here and you show a scene somewhere else.

And they think people are only able to think in television segments. We know better than that. People will think whatever way you've trained them to think. And we're not willing to capitulate to that. Everywhere you go you see church billboards and even sometimes completely liberal or mainstream denominational churches advertising the 40 days of purpose thing.

What's your evaluation of that whole thing? JOHN: Well, you know, as I said, the 40 days of purpose book is a very, very basic book about, you know, prayer and evangelism and PHIL: If a young pastor asked you, if he came to you and said, "Look, people in my church want us to do this, do you think there's anything wrong with it?

I said that the book is simple, it's almost below the basic level and here is an indication. I mean, Rick Warren would say that. Okay, here's what it says in the book. If you want to be right with God, here's what it says, "Believe, believe God loves you and made you for His purposes. Believe you're not an accident. Believe you were made to last forever. Believe God has chosen you to have a relationship with Jesus who died on the cross for you. Believe that no matter what you've done, God wants to forgive you. Where is the resurrection?

Where is the JOHN: Well then Receive His forgiveness for your sins. Receive His Spirit who will give you the power to fulfill your life. Wherever you're reading this, I invite you to bow your head and quietly whisper the prayer that will change your eternity. Go ahead. JOHN: Now you talk about minimalistic.

What in the world is that? Mormons could say that. Certainly Roman Catholics can say that. I'm sure liberals could say that, that they believe in the Spirit of Jesus. There's nothing about the resurrection there. There's nothing about the significance and meaning of the cross.

There's nothing about repentance. There's nothing about confession of Jesus as Lord. There's nothing at all about, most importantly, self-denial. Then it says, "You're going to need a little support. So what What kind of people are in that church? What kind of people are in The Purpose Driven Program if that's all they know? So, you know, that's what I'm saying about it. You would have to take that book, if you're going to do 40 days of purpose in your church, and literally expand it so that it is biblical and amend it and delete from it those things that are not biblical. Well there were about eight things there that you need to believe, none of them was, if you believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, none of them.

It's just like PHIL: It's all rooted though back to the idea of a man-centered theology. It's rooted in a man-centered theology, it's the culmination of where twentieth century evangelicalism First of all don't become antagonistic, cantankerous, rebellious against the leadership of your church because they had a 40 days thing.

Maybe, you know, they just weren't as discerning. You know, maybe they have come to the conclusion that it had some weaknesses. Maybe they beefed up the things that could be beefed up and maybe they were all well intentioned. You know, be prayerful, be thoughtful, be careful. We're not trying to create a firestorm here, you know, launched from Grace To You to people who can go in and disturb the tranquility of their churches.

Just be wise and be gracious. But, you know, when you're asked and you have the opportunity to speak and if you're not asked but you feel that your church is going down this path of the seeker-friendly movement, and I'm sure many of you are in this circumstance right now, I think you need to have I don't think you should turn it into a war, a battle. I think you should be patient and very kind and tender-hearted and long-suffering in dealing with these issues. But I know that if you're a part of the Grace To You family and you're in a church like this, you see all of this and you're disturbed by all of it.

And it's not just that, you know, the traditions have changed and you don't like the new traditions. You certainly see beyond that. That's not what we're talking about. You're disturbed by the change in the content, the emphasis, the direction of the church, the loss of the preoccupation with God and substituting it with a preoccupation with man. Instead of worshiping God when you come together and exalting Christ, it's as if you are trying to entertain these unbelievers. You see all that. But you need to be patient. You need to be thoughtful.

You need to be careful. And I think if you have an issue, you don't want to start a mutiny by spreading it all around with other people. If you have something against your brother, you go to your brother, if it happens to be your pastor or people in leadership, and you address that in a gracious and loving way and register your concern about it.

You know, then you wait and see what happens patiently. And don't necessarily abandon your church. I mean, the pattern of this is that there are lots of churches where people who try this leave and you don't necessarily want to all leave before the pastor leaves because it may be better if you're still there and then the next experience of your church with another man might put it more on track.

So be patient. But, you may have to make the decision somewhere down the line. If you have an alternative, I would say it could be simple. If you have an alternative where the Word of God is faithfully preached and taught, and Christ is exalted and God is truly worshiped, and you know that alternative and it's available to you, it's going to be hard for you not to take that alternative.

PHIL: How would you counsel a pastor who's feeling the pressure from people who want to move this direction philosophically? And the way to do that is not from the pulpit, don't get up in the pulpit and expose the leaders of the church in one of your sermons. You know, don't I think that what you do is you sit down with these people that are putting this pressure on with the leaders of the church, hopefully you've gotten the leaders of the church on your side who are ready to do that because you've opened the Word of God, you've made these things clear, and you sit down and you say, "Here are the biblical issues, and this is why we feel the way we do.

And it does come down to your theology. It really does. And if they understand what the Word of God teaches and you can show them that, then you're on solid ground. Help Grace to You bring important resources like this to people in your community and beyond, free of charge. Here at Grace to You Europe we take our data protection responsibilities very seriously and, as you would expect, have undertaken a significant programme of work to ensure that we are ready for this important legislative change.

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